And in other republican news Its Super Tuesday. So who am I going to vote for the dude who wants to put all the gay people on an island and blow it up, the dude who doesn’t believe in medical marijuana and constantly lies to the public, or the guy with the fake hair, or the feeble old guy who very well could die before the voting process begins today. Well im def not voting for the guy with the fake hair 1. Because he looks like a goon 2.) I think Iran could use his wig as blackmail 3.) im slightly jealous. Enough with politics…
The rest of the news in 6 seconds. No I did not go see Dr Seuss Lorax my acid dealer was out of town. If your reading this from the Midwest look out your window if theres no tornado keep reading this…if there is a tornado keep reading this your going to die anyways.
Soooooooooooo back to my story from last time. Its Friday and im feeling good. Friday is always the time when you feel the best. Work/school is done for the week and your hopes are always high. Who knows this could be the weekend you meet the love of your life, Go to a party like Project X or win the lottery. But no. Usually by Sunday Afternoon you have an overdraft charge from Bank of America, you spent the weekend sitting around at your friends parents house getting high and you’ve contracted a sexually transmitted disease from your fat last resort booty call.
So I make my way to my to Delicious’s house. We arrive at a underground poker room. The dude there buzzes us in. When we come inside we are offered unlimited free food and alchol. Then we are shown a small cubby in the wall we must hide in if the cops come (since were 17). This slightly worried me but the free food/ drinks made me feel much better. You could put 17 year old me alone in a room with hanibal lecter and id take my chances if there was free food and booze inside. We play poker into the wee hours of the morning and we leave each about 200$ richer.
So now Saturday comes along and Delicious tries to convince me to play more poker. My immediate reaction is absolutely not don’t call me ever again. The night before was all drinking and poker and no girls. Saturday was my night to drunkenly hit on high school girls. Usually ill get shot down but atleast I made an attempt. There was no way I could have a weekend void of all drunken sloppy hook up attempts. Also I had a fresh 200 in my pocket from the night before and I was excited to do some actual shopping compared to my usuall monitor shopping (scrolling through the entire page on my computer, deciding what I would want, then buying none of it because im broke as fuck). Buttt On top of that Delicious is telling me I have to give him 150$ and were going to play in a 9 person poker tournament online together. The winner gets 2700$. So im like ok fine whatever lets gamble and I fill my gas tank with 30$ drive down to his house and snag $20 of vodka and just like that im broke again.
So I arrive at Delicious’s parents house and we take our 150 each and deposit it to an online poker site. Before I know it were playing in our winner take all 2700$ poker tournament and theres only us and one other person left. So here I am with 0$ in my pocket playing a winner take all for 2700 wich would be 1350 each. Eventually we overcome the odds and came out victorious. With 1350$ each to spend however we please. At this moment I get a money boner and I literally thought I was the richest person in the world. I was like im instantly buying a house or a Mercedes or an entire 7-11 or possibly a giant collection of rare animals or Jurrasic Park. At this point I don’t even know what to do with myself or my 1350$. I break 3 random items in his house claiming id pay for them later because im rich as balls. Then we have the most akward chest bump of all time and I go home to get some rest for a summer league basketball game Sunday.
Little did I know that it would be less then 2 hours before Delicious would convince me to let our 2700$ ride,
Ohh and this KONY shit Heres what people dont understand about KONY. The movie is a scam, a scam to get the public behind AFRICOM (U.S. Military in Africa) The movie was really well done and all those horrible things with children over there do go on. But it goes on because Uganda's corrupted leader Museveni allows it to. Hes the guy to go after, but we dont because were not really interested in capturing KONY or Museveni. Were interested in putting our military into Uganda who already has one of the most corrupted militaries in the world. If we wanted to catch KONY we would have used a drone like we do with every other gaddafi, bin laden character. Dudes got 30,000 kids with him...you really think hes hard to find. Besides hes not even in UGAnda. This stuffs been going on for 20 years you really think the US government didnt know about. They make it public when its convenient for them. So they can put our military in Africa and the public will be behind it cuz they think its for a good cause...and our government can keep fucking with Africa as we always have.
#Therealkony
Sorry about all this political bs. Some one needs to show me how to make a twitter so I can just keep writing stories and keep all that political nonsense other places
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