For marketing class we needed to think of a unique product with a unique way of advertising it. The only 2 rules were no company could be producing it right now and no company advertises there product in such a way. After 6 seconds of brainstorming this is the first thing I came up with and I just went with it…..
My creative product I am trying to advertise is Wholly condoms. They are condoms with holes in them. For the clean lover that wants to have fun and also wants a baby, Wholly condoms. You found that perfect mother but uh oh she has herpes Wholly condoms are for you.
I am going to advertise them in different places. The first is at church. The church is tradionally pro-life. These condoms are also pro-life. They are in no way or form birth control. They are actually the exact opposite. They unequivalently support reproduction. Therefore I was thinking that they could be promoted at churches. Possibly when one goes up for communion instead of wine and a wafer they get wine, a wafer, and a Wholly condom. One will also get a condom if they contribute to the collection plate. For every dollar someone contributes they get one condom.
The second place I would advertise is Planned Parenthood. Planned Parenthood helps prevent unwanted babies and unwelcome disease. Unfortunately wholly condoms do not do a great job of stopping undesired offspring but they are tremendous at preventing disease. Seeing how disease is tied for the top of the list on Planned Parenthood’s most dreaded consequences, I think Planned Parenthood would welcome Wholly Condoms with open arms.
The final place I would advertise them is at STD clinics. Wholly condoms primarily markets to members of society who want to reproduce with other members of society who have sexually transmitted disease. Therefore a large portion of Wholly condoms cliental would be located at these clinics.
Other random ideas for advertising would be hiring a washed up celebrity as a spokesperson such as Hulk Hogan, Woody Allen, the estate of Anna Nicole Smith, the person who sang the Macarena, the most unpopular Jonas brother, or Kim Kardashian in 10 years. The next type of advertising is putting the logo on fluorescent urinal cakes. People are already using their genitalia to urinate so chances are something about their penis has crossed their mind while urinating. Therefore what’s one more thing involving your penis. Wholly condoms.
Wholly condoms are the first condom that both Planned Parenthood and the church can agree is a positive for society. Wholly condoms also have an edge economically on its competitors because it only uses 98% of the latex that other condom manufactures do. That’s not a lot of latex for just one pack of condoms but when you take into account how many condoms are produced a year financially this is a significant advantage.
Have you ever been a female before? While being that female have you ever lied to your boyfriend? Have you ever lied to your boyfriend by saying you’re pregnant when you’re really not so your boyfriend won’t leave you for a much cuter younger girl with better measurements? I think like 9 of my friends have had this inconvenient situation forced upon them. And I think like 6 of my friends have tried it. IT even happened to me…twice. Well if you’re a strapping young male with a promising future and your ex/almost ex-girlfriend says you knocked me up you can say wait just one second young lady I didn’t use a wholly condom. I used one of those stupid condoms with no holes. I call FALSE on your accusation. BUT WAIT females instead of accusing your boyfriend of impregnating you when you know it’s not true…take that next step and actually get yourself impregnated. Use a wholly condom. This way when your boyfriend doesn’t believe you just say look at my belly..wat up son…child support…Wholly Condoms.
Coming soon is our next product. Stay tuned for breakaway condoms…..condoms designed to break.
This teacher better give me an A plus or I am causing a scene in class.
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